Happiness=Dancing Turtles

    Growing up in California with my famous dad, a chef, was not easy. As soon as I reached the tender age of six, that my dad demanded perfection of my cooking. Through physical labor and many beatings, I soon almost reached perfection. But suddenly, I had my period. And thats when things got complicated. You see, I'm a boy, and I tarted to bleed out of my butthole. I was so confused and startled. I thought that the only way to solve this problem was to talk about it with all my friends. After our many conversations about my period, my friends peed in my mouth. Then there was a turn of events. My dad decided to take me to Disney World, where I was molested by Goofy on the first day. I enjoyed it. Next I moved to Iowa and decided to take on WWE world champion wrestling team. That is where I am today, although sometimes I make action figures for little boys. I also cook up nice treats and deliver them to little boys in my white van.